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            <td width="92%"><b><font color="#BB0000">ADULT 
              EDUCATION, CONVERSATION, MOTIVATION, CONSULTATION, RECREATION, 
              ETIQUETTE &amp; NETIQUETTE:<br>
              Dr. V. is Worth <i>your</i> Weight in 
              Gold!</font></b></td>
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                      <b><font color="#FFFFFF" size="1"><br>
                      In </font><font color="#FFFFFF" size="5">The</font><font color="#FFFFFF" size="3"><font size="1">se&nbsp; 
                      </font><font size="5">MORON TIMES</font></font></b><b><font color="#FFFFFF"><br>
                      <font color="#BB0000">He who hesitates is lost, for She 
                      who educates has been found.</font></font></b> </center></td>
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                  <td><div align="left"><b><font color="#FFFFFF"><br>
                      Does any of this [God forbid] seem familiar? &quot;Where 
                      you at?&quot; &quot;You done good!&quot; &quot;I seen her.&quot; 
                      &quot;I left him go.&quot; &quot;U R KEWL!&quot; &nbsp; 
                      Do you say &quot;<i>ath</i>-a-lete&quot; rather than &quot;ath-lete,&quot; 
                      &quot;<i>real</i>-a-tor&quot; rather than &quot;real-tor,&quot; 
                      and &quot;<i>nook</i>-you-luhr&quot; rather than &quot;<i>nu</i>-cle-ar&quot; 
                      [or the supremely grating &quot;<i>vee</i>-hickle&quot; 
                      as opposed to &quot;<i>ve-</i>(h)icle&quot;]?&nbsp; <i>Can 
                      you dress yourself each day without a calculator?</i> Should 
                      your speech and/or writing [ergo, your mind] be littered 
                      with garbage [online or off, personally or professionally], 
                      stop kidding yourself. Though perhaps too polite to call 
                      attention to your affliction, the subconscious and conscious 
                      minds of the unafflicted will have you pegged as one who 
                      should always use the servants' entrance. Unimproved and 
                      obviously unmotivated, sans lottery winnings, a trust fund, 
                      or a blood-relative on the Board of Directors, [a great 
                      big penis notwithstanding] you will never get <i>The</i> 
                      Girl, and only an Act of God will allow you to rise above 
                      your cubicle, station, or junior partnership.<br>
                      <br>
                      Think Dr. V is &quot;unnecessarily cruel&quot; for ripping 
                      the rose-colored glasses from your myopic eyes? No, Dr. 
                      V. is unnecessarily kind and compassionate enough to let 
                      you know you're an idiot, smart enough to &quot;wise you 
                      up,&quot; strong enough to see that you develop the discipline 
                      necessary to improve your lot in life...and &quot;necessarily 
                      direct and to the point&quot; when you insist upon remaining 
                      too stoopid to live.<br>
                      <br>
                      PRACTICE GOOD MENTAL HYGIENE and stop stinkin' up the joint!<br>
                      <br>
                      Research confirms that one-on-one instruction tailored toward 
                      the individual student results in greater and more permanent 
                      advances for the individual student. A basic understanding 
                      of biology confirms that males are capable of intense and 
                      prolonged concentration only upon such things as make their 
                      penises stand at attention. WELCOME TO DR. V's RESCUE &amp; 
                      REHABILITATION! Your only hope is a very strict teacher, 
                      with a very big lesson plan, offering very private tutoring.<br>
                      <br>
                      Click paragraphs, below, for more unpleasant truths. <a href="mailto:MissMoon@MissValerieMoon.com" target="mailto:MissMoon@MissValerieMoon.com">CLICK 
                      HERE</a>, however, when you are ready to become a better 
                      thinker, a better writer, and a better human being. English 
                      As a First Language [EFL] &amp; English As a Second Language 
                      [ESL] classes are always in session, as well as in vogue, 
                      and are conducted, internationally, through skype [<a href="http://skype.com" target="_blank">http://skype.com</a>], 
                      email, and IM. &quot;Critical thinking&quot; is the order 
                      of every day.<br>
                      <br>
                      Dedicated, attentive, and industrious students tithe $100 
                      per 55min. EFL/ESL session. Lazy parasites who waste My 
                      time, and who attempt to blame personal shortcomings on 
                      faux &quot;diseases&quot; [such as the now ubiquitous bollocks 
                      known as &quot;ADD&quot;] tithe $200 per 55min. EFL/ESL 
                      session. WARNING! Whatever the program [remedial, advanced, 
                      or stooge], trying to top from the bottom will cost one 
                      a limb...<br>
                      <br>
                      </font></b></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><b><a href="Moron-Adults_Deficient-Basic-Workplace-Skills.html" target="_blank"><font color="#FFFFFF">Firms 
                                need workers who not only <font color="#CC0000">read, 
                                write, speak, and understand English, but who 
                                also have mathematics, problem solving, and interpersonal 
                                skills, which form the foundation for almost all 
                                productive work</font> as well as all productivity 
                                improvement efforts.</font></a></b></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><font color="#FFFFFF"><a href="Adult-Education_Business-English-101.html" target="_blank"><b>A 
                                third of employees in blue-chip companies write 
                                poorly, and businesses spend $3.1 billion annually 
                                on remedial training. Millions of inscrutable 
                                e-mails clog corporate computers by setting off 
                                requests for clarification, and many of the requests, 
                                in turn, are also chaotically written, resulting 
                                in cycles of confusion. &quot;E-mail has just 
                                erupted like a weed, and</b></a></font><a href="Adult-Education_Business-English-101.html" target="_blank"><b><font color="#CC0000"> 
                                instead of considering what they write, people 
                                just let thoughts drool onto the screen. It has 
                                companies at their wits' end.</font></b></a><font color="#FFFFFF"><a href="Adult-Education_Business-English-101.html" target="_blank"><b>&quot;</b></a></font></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><font color="#FFFFFF"><b><a href="Moron-Adults_5-of-6-Applicants-Rejected-for%20Basic-Skills-Deficiencies.html" target="_blank">The 
                                average manufacturer rejects five of six applicants 
                                for basic skills deficiencies. The Upjohn Institute 
                                estimates that <font color="#CC0000">25 to 40 
                                percent of U.S. workers lack the reading skills 
                                to understand the bulk of written material related 
                                to their jobs.</font><b> Such workers cause their 
                                companies to lose profits through low productivity, 
                                workplace accidents, poor product quality, and 
                                lost supervisory time.</b></a></b></font></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><font color="#FFFFFF"><b><a href="Moron-Adults_American-Employees-Lack-Basic-Skills.html" target="_blank">A 
                                new reality about the global economy is sinking 
                                into the American consciousness. <font color="#CC0000">Rewards 
                                for having the right skills can be spectacular, 
                                consequences for not having them are devastating.</font> 
                                One of the most striking characteristics of less 
                                well-educated populations is their lack of information.</a></b></font></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><b><font color="#FFFFFF"><a href="Moron-Adults_Teachers-Who-Fail.html" target="_blank">More 
                                than half a million Florida students sat in classrooms 
                                in front of teachers who failed basic skills tests 
                                for teachers. <b>Many students got teachers who 
                                struggled to solve high school math problems, 
                                or whose <font color="#CC0000">English skills 
                                were so poor they flunked reading tests designed 
                                to measure the very same skills students must 
                                master before they can graduate.</font></b></a></font></b></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><b><a href="Moron-Adults_A-Coming-Job-Boom.html" target="_blank">What 
                                the projections reveal is a passing of the workplace 
                                torch unlike any other in U.S. history. <font color="#CC0000">Up 
                                to this point, each generation to enter the workforce 
                                has been larger and better-educated than its predecessor. 
                                This time, however, neither will be true.</font></a></b></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><b><a href="Moron-Adults_Shortage-of-Skilled-Workers.html" target="_blank"><font color="#FFFFFF">A 
                                survey of 110 mayors in 37 states revealed that 
                                a lack of skilled workers is jeopardizing efforts 
                                to attract businesses -- and even keep the ones 
                                they have.</font></a></b></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><b><font color="#FFFFFF"><a href="Moron-Adults_Illiterate-America.html" target="_blank">&quot;40 
                                per cent of college grads take no courses in English 
                                or American literature and 31 per cent have never 
                                taken a math course. <font color="#CC0000">More 
                                than 56 per cent can't calculate the change from 
                                $3 after buying a bowl of soup for 60 cents and 
                                a sandwich for $1.95. Many cannot read and understand 
                                a simple set of directions.</font>&quot; The article 
                                referenced &quot;Beer and Circus&quot;, a book 
                                by English professor Murray Sperber of Indiana 
                                University.</a></font><a href="Moron-Adults_Illiterate-America.html" target="_blank"> 
                                &quot;College kids are being fed a junk diet of 
                                alcohol, spectator sports and partying.&quot;</a></b></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><a href="Moron-Adults_Sticht.html" target="_blank"><b>Using 
                                the Prose test, some 40+ million U. S. adults 
                                were placed in Level 1 and 50+ million in Level 
                                2.<font color="#CC0000"> These lower levels include 
                                almost half of the adults in the U. S. Interestingly, 
                                most of these adults describe themselves as being 
                                able to read or write English &quot;well&quot; 
                                or &quot;very well.&quot;</font> It paints a picture 
                                of a society in which the vast majority of Americans 
                                do not know that they do not have the skills they 
                                need to earn a living in our increasingly technological 
                                society and international marketplace.</b></a></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><b><a href="Moron-Adults_American-Workers-Have-No-One-Else-to-Blame.html" target="_blank">A 
                                highly educated workforce does not exist in America 
                                -- it exists in China, India, Japan, Germany, 
                                and anywhere else outside of America.<font color="#CC0000"> 
                                I cannot help but feel sorry for American workers, 
                                because it is their fault and on their own conscience 
                                that they are not more educated and more competitive 
                                than what us CEOs and Corporate America wants 
                                them to be.</font></a></b></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><font color="#FFFFFF"><b><a href="Moron-Adults_Corporate-Training-Philosophies.html" target="_blank">An 
                                estimated 8 percent to 20 percent of the labor 
                                force is functionally illiterate. And an aging 
                                corps of Baby Boomers badly needs to update its 
                                knowledge and skills. So America's workers are 
                                going back to school. But they aren't just headed 
                                for seminars held in climate-controlled corporate 
                                classrooms. <font color="#CC0000">Today, the education 
                                and training of much of the modern labor force 
                                is as sophisticated, lively and diverse as the 
                                state-of-the-art American workplace.</font></a></b></font></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><b><a href="Moron-Adults_Basic-Language-Skills-Required-for-New-Economy.html" target="_blank">The 
                                non-partisan think tank MassINC reports that <font color="#CC0000">over 
                                one-third of Massachusetts' workers are deficient 
                                in the basic skills required to succeed in the 
                                new economy.</font></a></b></div></td>
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                                <font color="#FFFFFF"><b><a href="Adult-Education-EFL_English-As-a-First-Language.html" target="_blank">LEARN 
                                OFTEN.&nbsp; LEARN WELL. </a></b></font> </center></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><font color="#FFFFFF"><b><a href="Moron-Adults_Rethinking-Thinking.html" target="_blank">Americans 
                                can expect to change jobs a half-dozen times in 
                                their lives - a feat requiring considerable mental 
                                agility.<font color="#CC0000"> The ability to 
                                sift, analyze, and reflect upon large amounts 
                                of data is crucial</font> in today's information 
                                age. Outsiders who find <font color="#CC0000">college 
                                graduates unprepared for solving problems in the 
                                workplace</font> question whether colleges are 
                                successfully educating student to think.</a></b></font></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><b><a href="Moron-Adults_Education-in-Decline.html" target="_blank"><font color="#FFFFFF">A 
                                professor assigned a two-page essay that described 
                                a favorite vacation or holiday. One student turned 
                                in two pictures drawn with crayon. When given 
                                a failing grade, she was indignant and said that 
                                she put a great deal of work into the pictures. 
                                When told that she did not do the assignment and 
                                that she was supposed to write an essay, she said, 
                                'But I don't know what an essay is!'&quot;</font></a></b></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><b><font color="#FFFFFF"><a href="Moron-Adults_US-Workers-Ill-Prepared-for-Jobs.html" target="_blank">The 
                                Bureau of Labor Statistics has quantified the 
                                ever-increasing reading, mathematics, and reasoning 
                                skills required during the next ten to fifteen 
                                years. When the Baby Boomers start to leave the 
                                workforce in droves, more will be expected of 
                                those workers who enter and remain in the labor 
                                force. <font color="#CC0000">In a country full 
                                of workers who are unemployable or capable of 
                                working only on the lower rungs of the skill and 
                                wage ladder, economic growth will slow to a crawl.</font></a></font></b></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><a href="A-Nation-at-Risk_Moron-Adults.html" target="_blank"><b>Each 
                                generation of Americans outstripped its parents 
                                in education, literacy, and economic attainment. 
                                For the first time in history, the skills of one 
                                generation will not surpass, will not equal, will 
                                not even approach those of their parents.<font color="#FFFFFF"> 
                                </font><font color="#CC0000">If a foreign power 
                                attempted to impose the mediocre educational performance 
                                that exists today, we might well have viewed it 
                                as an act of war. As it stands, we have allowed 
                                this to happen to ourselves.</font></b></a></div></td>
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                            <td><div align="left"><b><a href="Moron-Adults_Concern-Grows-Regarding-Occupational-Literacy.html" target="_blank">Several 
                                factors attest to a growing concern about the 
                                occupational literacy levels of workers. These 
                                factors include<font color="#CC0000"> the deficient 
                                academic levels of those entering the work force, 
                                the changing nature of work in our society, and 
                                economic problems resulting from workers' inability 
                                to meet the basic skill requirements</font> of 
                                the job. Is job performance related to basic literacy?</a></b></div></td>
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